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So You’ve Got a Y-Chromosome — Big Honkin’ Deal

September 27, 2011 18 Comments

elderly woman driving car

For the record? This is how feminism happens, people.

I read stuff like that NPR article and I just get furious. Furious!

Dan always lovingly tells me that he’d like to see me drop in on a Saudi poker game and rip all the boys a new one. Well, he doesn’t always say that. Sometimes he says he’d like to put me in a time machine set for any American church prior to August 26, 1920 just to watch what happens.

He’s a real sweetie, that Dan! (He really is, but I love sarcasm almost as much as I love him.)

Anyway, as some of you may recall, a few years ago this one guy thought he could order me around and get away with treating me as something slightly less than human. He couldn’t, of course, but just the fact that he tried to control me was enough to send me into a near-psychotic rage. I mean, if you think I sound a touch like a defiant Feminazi right now for writing this post? You clearly aren’t prepared to see what happens when an asshat tries to tell me what to do.

Ahem.

So then I read stories like that one on NPR.org, and I think about these women in foreign countries being told they can’t drive or even show their chins. And then I wonder how they keep from losing their shit.

I would go mad. There’d be knives. And some screaming. And…

Oh, hi!

Look, I understand what hundreds of years of religious tradition can do to a people—to an extent—but I would so totally crack if that was my life.

So I’m going to drive home from work tonight and think of these ladies—the one who got ten lashes and the one who just wants to take better care of her children—and I’m going to shout a loud “fuck you” in their oppressors’ general direction.

…Until I come up with a more productive way to show my solidarity.


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About Emily Suess

Emily Suess is a freelance marketing copywriter in Indianapolis, Indiana and a regular contributor at Small Business Bonfire.
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  • http://twitter.com/filigreegirl Andrea Twombly

    Bravo, Emily!  Couldn’t agree with you more.  And this comes from a tired industrialist woman who confesses to occasionally wishing she had decided to stay home when motherhood came into reality.  I’ll take my headaches, sore feet and aging body into autonomy anytime.  I have friends who don’t have any control over any money that comes into their households, scares the bee-jeebers out of me for their sake.  Mrs. Bridge, anyone?

    • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

      I am similarly creeped out by wives who have joint Facebook and/or email accounts with their husbands. I realize that in some of those cases, both parties are okay with that set up. I just don’t know how they can be! I’ve been told I’m independent to a fault. Ha! :)

  • Candace Nicholson

    I completely understand. I’m still reeling this month from basically being told that a male coworker should be allowed to disrespect me and treat me as if I’m beneath him because he “can’t help himself” and “he doesn’t have it in him to be mean or malicious”.

    It’s okay because “Well, Candace, you have so much going on in your life and he doesn’t.” Please explain to me how that makes it okay for him to treat me like I’m beneath him. Apparently, he has issues. And his issues trump my issues, which happen to include a lifetime of being treated like I’m beneath people and I’m completely undeserving of their respect. But hey, as long as he feels good. That’s what matters.

    Sorry. Didn’t me to make it all about me there. It’s been a really rough, f**ked up month for me. ::sigh::

    My point is I know what you mean when you say it sucks and sends you into a rage. But it can be even worse when your coworkers and boss co-sign that bullshit and tell you somehow deserve to be treated that way.

    • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

      Oh my God, Candace. That is absurd, and I’m angry and righteously indignant on your behalf. I really am sorry you have to deal with that kind of asshattery on the job. It isn’t right, and you must feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, what with money being a necessity these days. The actions (or inactions, rather) of your boss and coworkers are inexcusable.

      • http://twitter.com/Incandescere Candace Nicholson

        Thanks. I appreciate the shared indignation. I’m slowly working through it, but it’s a situation that’s completely thrown me off my game this month.

        Here’s hoping October is 1000% better for both of us (and all the women in the world).

  • Candace Nicholson

    Hey Em! There’s something really funky with your Disqus Twitter connection. The last 3 times I’ve tried to comment on your blog using my Twitter login I’d get a message telling me that Twitter is over capacity and I should try again later.

    But Twitter isn’t over capacity when I try it. Twice I went ahead and posted my comment using my Google account, but once I just deleted my comment and moved on. I hope none of your other readers are getting this problem.

    I definitely think it’s Disqus related so you probably won’t be able to do anything, but I wanted to let you know.

    • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

      Thanks for the heads up. I’m not getting the error message on my end, but I do see that it’s not posting my comments to Twitter either. Hopefully the issue is resolved on its own soon. I don’t have a clue where to start to fix it. 

      • http://twitter.com/Incandescere Candace Nicholson

        Hey! What do you know? It’s fixed. :-)

  • http://maniaravings.com Jaffer

    I understand.
    As a practising Muslim … it makes me equally angry and worried that this again further worsens everything for us. I will say this has nothing to do with our faith but … I know I am a small voice and the damage is already done.

    As someone who grew up in Saudi Arabia – I’ve seen first hand the culture that exists inside that country. 

    Fortunately you will have supporters but only a handful.

    And unfortunately, your opponents will not be only men… but you will be out numbered by women – who will accuse you of propagating western ideas onto them

    (Am I sounding like stereotypical … remember… I grew up there)

    You see, unlike Americans (etc) who are open to ideas and will embrace all culture – and only now are they thinking of making a wall around them … the Saudis already built this wall and strengthened it more than half century ago. 

    Everything was calculated and planned to keep their culture and way of life and ideas unchanged. And they have been very successful at it.

    Media is controlled, New ideas a quashed immediately, Foreigners like me are never given any rights to even permanent residence. We were not even encouraged to learn about them and their country and history – in case we decided we liked them.
    Worse, non Arabs have taken their culture as part of their faith and applied it.

    But the wall is breaking. It took 3 generations to even show signs of cracking. It’s only a matter of time.

    • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

      Jaffer, I do get what you are saying. I know that there are Saudi women who believe things are fine the way they are. I can’t relate to those women personally, not having walked in their shoes. And I would never ask them to adopt Western values simply because I have. (Although, I have much to criticize about Western cultures too!)

      However, the women in the article are clearly making a statement. They want to be heard, and they want things to change. So I will be outraged right along with them. It’s in my nature. Each person–male or female–should be treated with respect and have the freedom to make these kinds of personal choices on his/her own.

      I know you’re not arguing this point with me. I just wanted to make my own thoughts clearer in case they were a little muddy in my original post.

  • http://www.grizzbabesden.blogspot.com Grizzbabe

    I’ll shout with you!

  • Kisma

    Well said my friend, well said.

  • http://www.girlyfight.com Stacia

    I’ve definitely had those moments of screaming “I AM SO PISSED OFF” and when my husband asks what I’m going to do about it, I respond that “I HAVE NO IDEA BUT I’M STILL PISSED OFF!!!”  So I have no great ideas but I’m in for the solidarity.  How infuriating.

    • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

      “I have no idea but I’m still pissed off” is like a personal mantra for me. I sure can point out when I feel something is wrong or unjust, but when it’s outside of my own personal world, I’m usually clueless how to fix it.

  • http://twitter.com/juliejordanscot Julie Jordan Scott

    Did you hear? The King overturned the ruling! The world-wide outrage swayed him, so reports the Huffington Post. I say keep the outrage flowing. Did you see the peaceful female protestors on wall street who got caged and maced while simply standing there? Outrageous violence against women happens right here, too.

  • http://blog.emilysuess.com Emily Suess

    I was just reading this Washington Post article. http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle-east/saudi-king-overturns-court-verdict-sentencing-a-female-driver-to-10-lashes/2011/09/28/gIQAnW3E5K_story.html

    And you are so right to point out what’s going on here too, Julie!

  • http://www.bayut.com Dubai Properties

    Its a good thing the king changed the law, it was really inhuman to do the lashes. Women all over the world are now getting more rights everyday and this will bring a positive change, women after all have faced enough brutality and harshness but thanks to the developed countries women were freed of slavery long ago.

  • http://www.scriptinghappiness.com Jeena Cho

    I hear ya. I get outraged when people ask me why I didn’t change my last name when I’m married. Um… really? I would’ve never survived prior to 1920 (or in a country where I wasn’t allowed to drive.)