3 Ways to Get More From the 5-Second Rule
I blew on it while he cradled it, just to get any dirt he might’ve missed. Then I wrapped both waffles in a paper towel and ate them on my way to work. (Syrup and forks are for people who can A) get up early enough to sit down at a table for breakfast and B) have metabolisms that still remember how to tear through empty calories.)
Anyway, the point here is that I didn’t die from eating the dropped waffle. So I guess there really is something to that whole 5-second rule. If a waffle is picked up within 5 seconds of dropping it, it’s like it was in my hand the whole time!
That got me thinking that the 5-second rule really could be powerful, if only we were smart enough to recognize its potential. It’s so powerful, in fact, that as far as life-altering superpowers go, the 5-second rule comes in second only to the do-over. Imagine the following scenarios:
- A family member calls, and you think they’re going to offer to help you clean out your garage this weekend as requested. Instead, what you hear after you say hello is, “I need to bum $50 to get in on this new business venture with Grunts Pearson….” Fortunately for you, the phone line’s only been open for 3.2 seconds.
5-second rule for telephone conversations: If phone is disconnected within 5 seconds of answering, you didn’t really just hang up on someone.
- You’re riding along in a municipal vehicle and listening to some tunes while on your way to a Park Board meeting. Unbeknownst to you, the TALK button is depressed on the CB radio, so everyone on the public works frequency can hear you singing along to Kesha. “Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy…” Approaching a stoplight, you move your right leg to the brake, and the outside of your knee releases the button. You were only on the air for 4.8 seconds.
5-second rule for broadcasting embarrassing, unsanctioned karaoke: If TALK button is released within 5 seconds of the beginning of the broadcast, no one ever heard you.
- You step out of the shower and realize that the shirt you want is folded up in the laundry basket on the couch in the living room. Being home alone, you figure you’ll just waltz out to the living room completely buck-freakin-naked. About the time you realize the curtains are open, you hear the clink of the mailbox lid on the wall just outside your front door, and the mailman walks by your picture window. You freeze for 2.4 seconds before grabbing a couch cushion and placing it strategically between you and the window.
5-second rule for unintentional exhibition: If you can cover yourself sufficiently before all 5 seconds have passed, no one ever saw you naked.
Got any more good uses for the 5-second rule?
Photo credit: duboix