The Cranky Editor’s Manifesto: Day 15

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Today’s Creativity Challenge: Write a manifesto (a declaration of principles and intentions). It can be a true manifesto, such as the “Freedom Manifesto”, or it can be tongue-in-cheek (for example, “The Procrastinator’s Manifesto” or “The Lazy Person’s Manifesto”).

I chose to write the Cranky Editor’s Manifesto. It’s short and sweet.

The Cranky Editor’s Manifesto

• Mrs. Clark’s anal-retentive third grade theme editing  is not an editorial style. Seriously? You still think she calls all the shots on writing? Everyone these days is either adopting a style (think Chicago or AP) or creating their own house style. Stop insisting I change “In those days people walked kind of funny” to “In those days, people walked kind of funny” just because you think that’s what Mrs. Clark would do.
• There is no right and wrong; there is only consistent and inconsistent. Language is flexible, but your readers? Not so much. Marry the Oxford comma or dump it. Choose “healthcare” and tell “health care” to take a hike. But for God’s sake don’t vacillate for the duration of your essay.
• If you simply must stand over someone’s shoulder while I edit, go ask Mike if he has a few minutes. Your heavy breathing and defensive outbursts make my entire box of Pilot G2 pens want to vomit red ink all over the 25-page term paper you researched and wrote in a single day.