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Come on, Emily, tell us what you really think.

July 30, 2010 9 Comments

(Originally published February 1, 2007)

A couple of points before you read the poem:

1. This poem is not about my own father.
2. Men aren’t born inherently worthless, it’s just that a few work their whole lives to see how close they can come.

Now on with the poem I turned in today…

Dishonorable Mention
Not every man who smokes Winstons is a liar.
Drinks carbonated rage from aluminum cans.
Squeezes salty drops of self-pity from vacant eyes.
Waits for a medal.
Not every man who smokes Winstons beats his children.
Curses at Howie Mandel from his La-Z-Boy.
Orders his eggs over easy, makes compassion hard.
Thinks he’s Dad of the Year.
Thank God not every man who smokes Winstons is you.
Odds & Ends
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About Emily Suess

Emily Suess is a freelance marketing copywriter in Indianapolis, Indiana and a regular contributor at Small Business Bonfire.
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  • Jeff

    What do you have against Howie Mandel?

  • Two Write Hands

    I don't have a darn thing against Howie. "Dad's" the one who curses at him, and insists on watching Deal or No Deal every time it's on anyway.

  • Daniel

    Thank goodness. I smoke Winston lights, and drink my beer from a bottle. So, not only am I health conscious, but I'm a sensitive man. Right?I loved the line "Drinks carbonated rage from an aluminum can." For some reason, it reminds me of a line from a poem I'd read years ago about depression being like a lonely silo filled with rotting, black corn. I think it was Robert Creeley (about 25% sure, at least), but it's been so long, I'd have to look it up. But, the image really stuck with me, and I think the carbonated rage line will have a similar effect. Great job. You do this very well. Just remember not to think too hard, okay? If I were to change anything, it would be to put the phrase "is a liar" on its own line after "Waits for a medal" to give it a sort of list of characteristics. And, maybe do the same with "beats his children," but put it on its own line between "Dad of the Year" and a space, then, "Thank God…" It's definitely not needed though. The poem works great as it is.

  • GrizzBabe

    You're catching on to this poetry thing!

  • Chris

    Holy crackamoly! That ROCKS Emily, really. So powerful and it drew me in, feeling like I had a vested interest in the situation. That's what great writing does. Excellent job.Happy Superbowl Weekend!ChrisMy Blog

  • Charles

    I like that poem. For my "stand in dad" when I was a child it was beer.

  • Dirty Butter

    My Daddy smoked Camels, and, thank goodness, your poem doesn't fit him at all. But it's a very powerful poem, because, sad to say, it does fit many fathers who don't know how to be Daddies.

  • TheMagicMel

    Wow. Knowing you as I do, I suspect I know where this is coming from. Very powerful and well done!

  • Cheryl N.

    Subtle… I like it.