It’s also difficult to write because the story is not linear, and explaining to you what’s happened to me since I wrote my first book review on Suess’s Pieces last July won’t be simple. Please bear with me.

For several months now, I’ve suspected that my ex-husband was behind the drama leading to my open tirades against iUniverse here on my blog. Some of the communication I had with the authors requesting book reviews just didn’t sit right with me. And, although I couldn’t really prove it, I knew deep down I was being played. Used.

Without much in the way of evidence to call out my ex on his backhanded badgering, I pretty much just went off on iUniverse and the individual authors in order to vent my frustrations and try to discourage any further interaction with them.

Not that it worked.

Some of you probably thought I was taking it all a little too seriously, but in reality I wasn’t prepared to go public with my conspiracy theory. I offered little in the way of explanation for my outbursts. I figured it would have made me look like an insane ex-wife with a grudge to blame my ex for what was going on with all these authors. General venting on my blog was all I had.

Then by chance (or perhaps not by chance at all) a man I once knew left this comment on my April 18, 2012 blog post. A light bulb went off, and that was all it took for the rest of the pieces to begin to fall into place.

As I kept digging deeper for confirmation of my suspicions, I became more enraged with every telling morsel I found.

This is my story. This is my attempt to explain to you why a woman who has never even written a book would waste her time trying to encourage writers to become skeptics of the self-publishing world in general, but these companies in particular: iUniverse, AuthorHouse and AuthorSolutions. (AuthorSolutions is the company that owns iUniverse, AuthorHouse, Trafford and xLibris, and it is connected to Hay House’s imprint, Balboa Press—the corporate incest is relevant. I think you’ll see why as you read on.)

How I Got Started Writing Book Reviews

A self-published author named Georgia Brock contacted me on Twitter in June 2011, asking if I did book reviews on my blog. It seemed a little odd to me—since I wasn’t a known reviewer—that a complete stranger would reach out to me for an evaluation of her book. But I figured self-published authors probably struggled a lot trying to get attention for their books, and my blog was relatively well-established.

I agreed to review Brock’s It Started on a Garden Tour if she provided a review copy, and I announced on my blog and on Twitter that I was planning to accept more titles. A couple of authors who were already online connections asked if I’d take on their works. Of course, I agreed. Those two or three authors are not in any way related to this tale.

Between July 3, 2011 and September 3, 2011, I wrote a total of five book reviews on Suess’s Pieces where the books were directly connected to AuthorSolutions and iUniverse.

• It Started on a Garden Tour (AuthorHouse)
• Just Another Eylsian Sidetrip (AuthorHouse)
• The Velvet Thorn (iUniverse)
• Maximum Speed: Pushing the Limit (iUniverse)
• What on Earth Are We Doing Here? Exploring the Case for Human Suffering (Balboa)

In August of 2011, I received an email from a social media publicist at AuthorSolutions. She explained to me that I had agreed to review one of her author’s titles, and asked me if I would be willing to look at another. I agreed and let her know that from then on she could just send me additional titles. No point in wasting time on formalities.

What Triggered My First Meltdown

About a week after I made this agreement with the social media publicist, I wrote “When Book Reviews Attack!” This veritable snarkfest of a post resulted from requests coming to me through various authors’ Twitter accounts and blog comments. They were getting out of line, in my opinion. So I spelled it all out for them, lest any other authors think about asking me for similar ridiculous favors.

That meant sending a retraction to the social media publicist I mentioned earlier. I needed to let her know I’d axed the free reviews on my blog. I thought I’d send her a quick message on Twitter.

Looking at her Twitter profile, I discovered a tweet she sent to my ex-husband in her timeline, and I stopped cold. I wasn’t in the habit of following him on Twitter, so it came as a surprise to me that they knew each other. I chalked it up to coincidence because the company hails from nearby Bloomington where he went to school. I did not care to look into it any further. My wont is to avoid my ex and any people I know to be connected to him. I unfollowed her, and things were relatively quiet for the next few months.

Divorce is Ugly

I suppose now is as good a time as any to fill you in on how I came to be happily divorced. I filed with the court on July 10, 2008 because I could no longer stand being in his company. But for several months prior to that, I’d been trying to work it out with him.

“Trying to work it out” included a few sessions with a counselor at the pretty, white, suburban church we’d been attending. Those sessions were all very much the same: me crying with a box of tissues by my side, the counselor asking soothing and non-accusing questions, and my ex-husband flapping on while his pants idiomatically ignited into white-hot flames.

The whole experience left me disillusioned with the idea of church and rather offended by that church in particular. Promises to “protect me” (whatever that meant) amounted to nothing more than the coddling of an unremorseful man.

At one point after I’d filed for divorce but before the 90-day waiting period was up, I remember telling my ex-husband that he couldn’t go to that pretty, white, suburban church anymore. Essentially I was saying that I was getting the church in the divorce. You know, the way some couples fight over who gets to keep the condo or the SUV.

I had no intention of ever going back to that church; I just couldn’t bear the thought of him using it as a social club for getting jobs and networking on Sunday mornings. I had my suspicions he was lying to me when he agreed, because the church was comprised of moneyed families and sucessful businessmen and women. And my ex-husband? Well, he was a public relations professional without a job.

Putting the Pieces Together

After a few months of pleasant blogging without the annoying pokes of iUniverse authors, two new authors started blipping on my radar. That’s how “OMFG, iUniverse Authors!” came to be published on April 18, 2012.

The first author merely commented on an old post. I bristled at his unfounded comment, but didn’t become truly angry until a second iUniverse author engaged me on Twitter. People who self-promote the way she did—by baiting me with talk of something I’ve expressed interest in only to lead me to irrelevant, self-promotional crap—are what’s wrong with social media marketing, in my opinion. I took screen shots. I posted them. I swore.

At least five different people said to  me, “I knew you were passionate about this iUniverse thing, but I had no idea.”

In hindsight, I was terribly hard on the authors, even though part of me suspected they weren’t actually the ones leaving the comments and hitting me up on Twitter. It seemed more like the work of a hack publicist, not someone truly vested in sharing their life’s work with the world.

But I didn’t care, because if these authors weren’t directly responsible for the communications, they were indirectly responsible for not monitoring how their online reputation was being managed.

Five days passed before the fateful comment I mentioned at the beginning of this post was submitted on “OMFG, iUniverse Authors!” When I saw it and saw the commenter’s unmistakable name, it only took a second for me to start connecting the dots. Four years ago, the commenter spoke in front of the congregation at that pretty, white, suburban church.

I have no idea what he spoke about anymore. Maybe it was an upcoming event or program. But it doesn’t matter now anyway. Seeing his comment on my blog, I no longer doubted that my ex-husband had been using me and my goodwill to get free book reviews for his clients. And the absurd requests—like the one asking me to take my picture with a book at the race track?—I think that was all him too.

What I Know vs. What I Think to Be True

There are some things I will never be able to prove. For instance, I don’t know that my ex was the one composing those comments and tweets*. I do know, however, that someone at AuthorSolutions left a comment for me under the name of Georgia Brock. Georgia Brock, you’ll recall, was the author of the first book ever reviewed on Suess’s Pieces.

I have Gmail. That means I have tons of space, killer search functions, and no reason to ever delete any of the emails I receive. That’s why I still have access to Disqus comment system notifications from 9 months ago.

You see, Disqus records the IP addresses of those leaving comments on my blog. That IP address can then be looked up easily online. This is what ip-lookup.net tells me about 206.53.252.80, the author of the comment in question:

If they’re writing comments for clients, might they also be Tweeting for their clients?

Also, do you remember the social media publicist who I discovered had tweeted to my ex-husband? That connection wasn’t a coincidence. I’ve since checked out the ex’s Twitter profile and confirmed that he works with her at AuthorSolutions.

AuthorSolutions’ Global Marketing Director? Well, looks like the pretty, white, suburban church has a rather effective Good Ol’ Boys club at work among the congregants. Based on his job title, I’m assuming he’s my ex’s current boss.

Considering that I went back to my maiden name after the divorce and considering that I had no meaningful  contact with the Global Marketing Director of AuthorSolutions while I attended the pretty, white, suburban church, I doubt he had any idea whose blog he was commenting on. If he did know who I was…well, I hope someone steals his favorite cufflinks or something.

My Self-Publishing Convictions

I still stand by all of my incessant rambling about the pitfalls of self-publishing and iUniverse in particular. Because even when you remove my ex-husband from the equation, I’ve read an overwhelming number of self-pubs that are lackluster, typo-ridden atrocities.

The one or two good self-published works I’ve read don’t convince me that self-publishing  companies are improving the industry; they just convince me that exceptionally capable authors occasionally succeed against all odds.

And remember: I say all of this not as someone with a dog in the traditional publishing vs. self-publishing fight, but as a reader. As one of the people everyone in the publishing industry is supposedly trying to win over.

I think too many authors who self-publish aren’t skeptical enough when it comes to shelling out their money. So in days to come I’ll be posting interviews with people who have used iUniverse and wanted to share their experiences.

Why am I singling out iUniverse if I think all self-pubs need to try harder? Well, not to sound like I’m eight years old…

But they started it.

iUniverse is owned by Author Solutions, Inc., a Bertram Capital-owned holding company.

*9/5/12 I do, however, know now that the Author Solutions publicity team did create Twitter accounts and post updates on behalf of their clients. This was verified by an anonymous employee.

© Emily Suess for Suess's Pieces, 2012. ]]> http://blog.emilysuess.com/the-iuniverse-rants-coming-clean/feed/ 22 http://blog.emilysuess.com/how-to-deal-with-bad-pitches-part-1/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-deal-with-bad-pitches-part-1 http://blog.emilysuess.com/how-to-deal-with-bad-pitches-part-1/#comments Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:51:34 +0000 Emily Suess http://blog.emilysuess.com/?p=6118 I know I’m not the only blogger out there who receives promotional pitches like this, so feel free to use this method if you like. Also, I’d love to hear how you deal with annoying solicitations. Leave me a comment.

Step 1: Read Horrible Pitch

from: Phil [e-mail address redacted]

to: emily[at]emilysuess[dot]com

date: Wed, Apr 25, 2012 at 9:32 AM

subject: Contact Form Submission from Phil

Hi,

I’d like to inquire about doing a sponsored blog post – about 150-300 words that talks a little bit about Immigration Visas and links back to our site [URL redacted]. We are a immigration visa company and thought we might be a good fit for your readers/visitors on http://blog.emilysuess.com Here’s a list of some blog post titles we’ve done in the past:

• How to Get Your Marriage Visa
• Things To Know Before Applying For Your Immigration Visa
• How to Get Help With Your Immigration Process

Our budget is around $15 for the post. Is this something you’d be open to? Also we might be interested in a small banner ad if the price is right. Our budget is $40/year – something like this: [URL redacted] Let me know if you’d be open to either or both of these.

Also if you have some other sites just send them over and we might be interested in doing a sponsored post on there as well!

Regards, Phil

Step 2: Respond

from: emily[at]emilysuess[dot]com

to: Phil [e-mail address redacted]

date: Wed, Apr 25, 2012 at 9:45 AM

subject: Re: Contact Form Submission from Phil

Phil,

I’m guessing you didn’t bother to actually read any of the content on my blog, as your website has absolutely no relevance to the content on my blog.

But I like you, Phil. So let me help you find some better places to advertise: click here.

Emily

 

© Emily Suess for Suess's Pieces, 2012. ]]> http://blog.emilysuess.com/how-to-deal-with-bad-pitches-part-1/feed/ 8 http://blog.emilysuess.com/omfg-iuniverse-authors/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=omfg-iuniverse-authors http://blog.emilysuess.com/omfg-iuniverse-authors/#comments Wed, 18 Apr 2012 23:13:09 +0000 Emily Suess http://blog.emilysuess.com/?p=6007

Emily's Venn Diagram for iUniverse Authors

 

For an update on this story, read The iUniverse Rants: Coming Clean.

A couple of iUniverse authors are acting up again, and I thought I’d write about it today. While it might seem more humane just to let these folks fade into Internet oblivion, it’s a welcomed distraction for me. So let this be a lesson to anyone else out there who is thinking about a) sending me pitches for a self-published book disguised as a “real” social media conversation or b) writing comments on a months-old post without actually reading the post.

The lesson is: find out who you’re irritating first.

Oh wait, I should do one of those “previously on Suess’s Pieces” things, shouldn’t I?

The iUniverse Backstory

1. I used to review books on this blog.
2. Many were written by indie authors, several were published by iUniverse.
3. Most of the books were shitty. I mean so shitty that when the iUniverse dude offered to send me a bunch more titles to prove some of them actually had merit, I was all, like, oh hell no!
4. I began to feel the authors were expecting a little too much from me, the only girl in the world giving their tomes the time of day. When one author whose book was slated for a review asked me to take a picture of myself with her book at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, I lost my shit.
5. I effectively stopped doing book reviews by telling authors they now had to pay for my time, and I hoped beyond hope that the iUniverse people would finally leave me alone.

They did. For a while.

Then one day last week, this random comment shows up on one of those old iUniverse posts of mine. Joy of joys, it was from an iUniverse author who chastised me for tarring all iUniverse titles with the same brush.

Got right up in my craw, it did.

Tip for Authors: Want to sell me on the merits of your book? You’d have better luck sending me a review written by your mom.

I responded to the commenter a few days later, thinking I was done with that mess for another 6 months or so until the next poor soul decided to type “iUniverse reviews” in his favorite search engine. But then today I had the following exchange on Twitter with someone who turned out to be an iUniverse author.

At first, I thought she was genuine about her concern for the tradeswomen of Ohio. And because I’m a raging feminist who believes in things like the right to choose my own health care and the Fair Pay Act, I responded to her. I wanted to learn more about their cause, maybe offer them a little solidarity. (For someone as cynical as I am, I am still really stinking gullible sometimes.) Anyway, when she finally sent me the correct link, I landed on the front page of her blog, where every post is either about her or her iUniverse book.

Pee-yuke.

Trying to trap me into discovering your book is not going to sell me; it’s going to anger me. If some PR “guru” suggested you promote your book in this fashion (or worse yet, if someone in PR is doing this on your behalf), congratulations!  You have officially been hosed.

The best part? Girlfriend only had 72 tweets on record at the time, so I decided to check out her tweet history and found half a dozen other tweets that were pretty much the same only with different @mentions tacked on the front.

The Moral of the Story

I kind of side-stepped this issue when it last came up because, although I knew I was being a bitch, I didn’t want to be that bitch. I didn’t want to be the one to wreck the dreams of everyone who thinks that self-actualization only comes with a publishing contract. But that last remaining scrap of goodwill is gone from me now, and I’m just going to come out and say what needs to be said:

If you have to pay someone to publish your book, odds are it isn’t marketable. And if it isn’t marketable, that’s probably because it sucks.

Now, maybe your whole book concept sucks. Or maybe it’s just not ready for general consumption yet. Maybe there’s potential, but you need to do more work? If that’s the case, rushing the publishing process by paying someone to ignore industry standards is the last thing you should do.

Authors who write well receive advances instead of paying deposits. Authors who have something worth publishing don’t pay extra for professional proofreading packages. Authors with great stories to sell don’t pay additional fees for mediocre cover art. And authors who write well don’t have to beg or trick people into helping them promote their books.

Good or bad, real publishers agree to print marketable books because that’s how they make money. And, good or bad, vanity presses agree to print unmarketable books for a fee because that’s how they make money.

Any questions?

iUniverse is owned by Author Solutions, Inc., a Bertram Capital-owned holding company.

© Emily Suess for Suess's Pieces, 2012. ]]> http://blog.emilysuess.com/omfg-iuniverse-authors/feed/ 16 http://blog.emilysuess.com/blbc12-writing-contest-winners/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=blbc12-writing-contest-winners http://blog.emilysuess.com/blbc12-writing-contest-winners/#comments Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:11:30 +0000 Emily Suess http://blog.emilysuess.com/?p=5990 It’s time to announce the winners of the Brave Little Blogger Writing Contest. But before I do that, I just want to offer a huge thank you to the judges for volunteering their time to evaluate each of the entires in the #BLBC12.

Kiersi Burkhart

S.J. Higbee

Heidi Lee Munson

Sulekah Rawat

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Contest Winners

 

Aisha Isabel Ashraf - 1st Place

• $50 Amazon.com e-gift card
• Small Business Kickstart Kit ($17)
• Two Pens personal lesson on branding and tweeting via Google Hangout. We’ll teach you how to create an online persona, then use Twitter effectively to promote your writing and grow your platform. 1 hour.

Joy Garnett - 2nd Place

• $35 Amazon.com e-gift card
• Small Business Kickstart Kit ($17)
• Professional proofreading and copy editing services for your book, short story, website, or print collateral from Mahesh Raj Mohan. (Proofreading will correct any typographical errors, and copy editing involves checking the content for internal consistency and offering suggestions). Up to 20 pages of content. ($200)

Rachel Hoyt - 3rd Place

• $15 Amazon.com e-gift card
• Small Business Kickstart Kit ($17)
• Professional consultation and resume/cover letter package from Kristin Offiler. Includes a detailed questionnaire used towards developing the new resume, an email or phone consultation to identify the client’s goals (whichever you prefer), digital copies of the resume in .pdf and .rtf form, and one customized cover letter tailored to a specific job. ($150)

Congrats to the winners! Be on the lookout for an email from me in the next 24-48 hours with information on how to redeem your prizes!

© Emily Suess for Suess's Pieces, 2012. ]]> http://blog.emilysuess.com/blbc12-writing-contest-winners/feed/ 7 http://blog.emilysuess.com/headline-shirts-giveaway/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=headline-shirts-giveaway http://blog.emilysuess.com/headline-shirts-giveaway/#comments Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:41:51 +0000 Emily Suess http://blog.emilysuess.com/?p=5940 While we’re all eagerly waiting for the judges to decide the winners of the Brave Little Blogger Contest, I’ve got another giveaway to announce. The folks at Headline Shirts gave me a free T-shirt to review and have graciously offered to give one away to one of my lucky readers.

I chose the Typewriter Ctrl Z for myself. Even if the humor is a little too subtle for the average person, I love it. I pretty much hate the girl versions of these shirts, so I got the men’s shirt. It’s super soft and comfy, and I mean that. Because I hate a scratchy, stiff, or heavy feeling T-shirt.

Anyway, get in on the giveaway and say thanks to Headline Shirts by signing up for their newsletter. The contest widget opens at midnight EDT on April 5 and closes at 12:01 a.m. EDT on April 13.

(more…)

© Emily Suess for Suess's Pieces, 2012. ]]> http://blog.emilysuess.com/headline-shirts-giveaway/feed/ 63