Lemon Ricotta Muffins with Chia Seeds

lemon ricotta muffins with chia seeds

Dan and I aren’t really all about blind patriotism. So the whole sing-Lee-Greenwood-while-watching-fireworks thing isn’t happening for us this weekend. Instead, he’s out in the backyard recreating our first Fourth of July meal: barbecue bone-in pork chops with grilled pineapple rings.

That first Fourth together was pretty memorable. I went to see him in Milwaukee, and we decided to go for a hike along Lake Michigan. It was miserable-humid, and we went walking through a pretty heavily wooded area where the mosquitoes were thick.

The trail was narrow, so we walked single file. Dan at the front, Taubensee between us, and me playing caboose. I was beyond afflicted, slapping my face constantly because of the mosquitoes. “Are we almost done?” I whined. “I can’t take the mos…”

SLAP!

“GAAAAH! Let’s get out of here, please!”

Dan laughed at me in a way that conveyed he thought I was cute but prone to complaining. “Yeah, we’re almost back to the car,” he assured me.

By the time we pulled up to the house, my ten zillion mosquito bites had had just enough time to fester. There were white, raised welts covering the entirety of my face and a good chunk of my arms and legs. He put the car in park and looked over at me.

“My God, woman!”

“I freaking told you!”

“I have to get my camera.”

The pictures of my mosquito-bitten face actually exist. But I’m not sure where they are.

Anyway, Dan made my absolute favorite dinner to make it up to me. I had two pork chops and three pineapple rings while we watched old episodes of Batman on TV. (Yes, the ones with Adam West.) I ate so much I made myself sick.

Best. Fourth. Ever. Now it’s tradition for us—except for the part where I make myself sick.

Anyway, while Dan was grilling today, I decided to bake the best muffins on the planet for dessert. Because, hello! I have a real kitchen now.

These are like lemon poppy seed muffins, only presumably they won’t return a false positive if your employer decides to randomly drug test you the next day. The ricotta and olive oil make these sooooo good. The texture is dense, but somehow still fluffy. They are miracle muffins that defy science.

Lemon Ricotta Muffins with Chia Seeds
Serves 12
A dense yet fluffy standard muffin reminiscent of the beloved lemon poppy seed muffin.
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Prep Time
15 min
Cook Time
15 min
Total Time
30 min
Prep Time
15 min
Cook Time
15 min
Total Time
30 min
207 calories
31 g
23 g
8 g
4 g
2 g
72 g
70 g
16 g
0 g
5 g
Nutrition Facts
Serving Size
72g
Servings
12
Amount Per Serving
Calories 207
Calories from Fat 66
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 8g
12%
Saturated Fat 2g
11%
Trans Fat 0g
Polyunsaturated Fat 1g
Monounsaturated Fat 4g
Cholesterol 23mg
8%
Sodium 70mg
3%
Total Carbohydrates 31g
10%
Dietary Fiber 1g
5%
Sugars 16g
Protein 4g
Vitamin A
2%
Vitamin C
2%
Calcium
9%
Iron
3%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your Daily Values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.
Ingredients
  1. 1¾ cups flour
  2. ¾ cup baker's sugar
  3. 2½ tsp. baking powder
  4. ¼ tsp. salt
  5. ¾ cup ricotta cheese
  6. ½ cup water
  7. ¼ cup olive oil
  8. Zest of 2 lemons
  9. Juice of half a lemon
  10. 1 egg
  11. 2 tbsp. chia seeds
  12. 2 tbsp. honey
Instructions
  1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Line 12­ standard muffins cups with paper liners.
  2. In a large bowl, whisk dry ingredients, except chia seeds.
  3. In a medium bowl, whisk wet ingredients, except honey.
  4. Add wet mixture to dry and combine with spoon. Fold in chia seeds.
  5. Scoop batter into muffin liners.
  6. Bake for 16 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. (Seriously, use a toothpick. These muffins don't really get that golden brown color. So they may not look done, even though they are.)
  7. Let cool slightly and brush muffins with honey.
beta
calories
207
fat
8g
protein
4g
carbs
31g
more
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I recommend eating these suckers when they’re still slightly warm. Pat yourself on the back if you can eat just one.

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The Reluctant Couponer

A few weeks ago I had to quit freelancing because of my health. I had to focus on keeping up with the demands of my day job while taking a little time out to do things that would make me feel better. But the new house, the new dog, and the new kitten aren’t exactly easy on the wallet. So when a friend on Facebook shared a referral link for a couponing app, I figured what the heck.

I won’t physically clip coupons; it’s just not happening. But I can certainly deal with mobile apps. Here are screenshots for a few that I use, so you can see my “earnings.” Referral links below!

ibotta

 

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Money Saving & Coupon Apps

Some send cash back straight to my PayPal account. And Others offer gift card rebates. Since we’ve moved I’ve saved hundreds. Of course, I’ve spent hundreds too, but it was on stuff we needed for the new place.

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New Puppy, New Problems

When we moved into our house, the first thing we did was adopt a puppy. Technically Boomer is a year old, but the adult food he eats is the only grown up thing about him.

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He’s very lovable and keeps us laughing constantly, but every morning at 5:30 a.m. he drives me absolutely insane. You see, there are tons of rabbits in our neighborhood, and Boomer is capital-O Obsessed with them. They sit near the front stoop eating clover while he scratches, barks, whines, paws, and darts from window to window trying to figure out how to get at them.

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They begin taunting him at 5:30 a.m.

No decent human being wants to be awake at 5:30 a.m.

Anyway, the lowest window on our front door is the perfect height for him. When we first moved in I was like, “Oh, that’s the perfect height for Boomer! He will have so much fun!” And he does spend a lot of time looking out that window. I have proof.

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But I just couldn’t take the insanity anymore. So I found the perfect solution. (I hope, anyway. Tomorrow morning will be the true test.) I bought removable window film to let the light come in through the entryway without letting Boomer actually see the rabbits. It cost about $8, but I have a feeling it’s going to be much more valuable than that!

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Truth be told, I kind of like the added privacy too. Although our door doesn’t face the street, I always felt a little bit like we were on display at night.

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Cymbalta Withdrawal

quitting cymbaltaRemember when I wrote about weaning off of the Cymbalta I was taking for fibromyalgia? Everything seemed fine, and I was kind of wondering what all the internet fuss was about coming off the stuff. I completed the second week of my transition dose without much to complain about. But it turns out weaning is the easy part. Stopping it (even after weaning) is a special kind of hell. I don’t have a lot of energy, so I’m just going to copy and paste some of the things I shared with a select group on Facebook. This stuff needs to be searchable.

And yes, that’s really me. Today. Rocking the ashen-faced, chapped-lip, Cymbalta-chic look. (I think they got the before and afters out of order on those dumbass drug commercials!)

Three days after my last pill.

Silly me. Thought I’d managed to avoid the terrible Cymbalta withdrawal. But, blammo! Here it is. Brain zaps pretty much non-stop, nausea, and the mother of all migraines all at once and without warning. It did seem a little too easy.

Four days after my last pill.

Sometimes things just work out. Sitting on the couch, still in my pajamas, thinking I need to check the details on that meeting with my boss in a couple of hours. Accidentally hit “send” instead of “close” on the calendar event because my brain is just broken today, which emails her a reminder. I’m thinking “crap, but oh well” when I get a reply that she needs to reschedule for tomorrow or Wednesday instead. I’m sooo thankful because I still couldn’t pass a field sobriety test if I tried today, and the brain zaps are back. I am so thankful for this job.

Four days, six hours after my last pill.

So, um, I used to be like “Cymbalta doesn’t work for some people, know what you’re getting into.” After today, I’m more like, “OMG, Cymbalta is poison. Never, under any circumstances, let your doctor convince you it’s worth trying.” From what I’ve heard, people have an easier time coming off opiates. Today has been horrible. If you need me, I’ma be over here hugging a trash can and willing the room to stop spinning.

Five days after my last pill.

Feeling better this morning. Still got the brain zaps and a slight headache, but my stomach has chilled out. I’ve got that feeling like I could sleep for weeks. Glad the worst is over. I should’ve listened to Nancy Reagan.

Five days, twelve hours after my last pill.

Trying a Zofran and some ginger ale. I did feel better this morning, but after about 4 p.m. I started the downward spiral again. Brain zaps got intense, and well… if you know what Zofran is for, there’s no need to get into details.

4:30 used to be my usual dose time, so I’m guessing this my body being all “where the FUCK is my Cymbalta you stingy whore?!?”

Looks like another night curling up on the couch with Panic Binkey. (Panic Binkey, nicknamed by Dan of course, is the greatest family heirloom of all time — one of two twin flannel sheets that my mom used to comfort me when I got sick as a wee tot. Seriously, this thing is like 35-40 years old.)

Ahhh…. Zofran. I think I love you.

Five days, eighteen hours after my last pill.

Y’all want to hear a joke? Pot isn’t approved for medical use in all states, but this shit is! Even funnier? When you ask some doctors about the potential for side effects and symptoms of withdrawal, they’ll look at you like you’re a nutjob.

There are people out there (myself included) that would rather suffer chronic, unexplained pain than stay on this stuff. Think about that if you or someone you know is ever prescribed Cymbalta — especially if the doctor recommends it with the same levity he’d tell you to gargle a saltwater rinse for your sore throat.

Yes, feeling this miserable for the third day in a row while having my sleep patterns disrupted is making me angry and bitter. Why do you ask?

Six days after my last pill.

*WARNING* I might not be mentally stable.

I’m at work for the first time this week. And by that I mean physically at work. I’ve been doing the remote thing, because my employer is just cool like that.

Dan had to drive me here today, even though it’s about a block away from our apartment. When I walked to the company library for my first meeting this morning, I had to grab walls to stay upright. The brain zaps are extra rough this morning.

I whined the whole morning about getting ready because I wanted to stay in bed and sleep. Washing my hair was too hard. Pulling up my jeans was too hard. Standing up was too hard.

I’m lucky enough to have ample PTO, but silly me—I’m trying desperately to hang on to it so I can fucking enjoy moving into my new house at the end of next month. So I’m working through this withdrawal the best I can.

I also have $400 in medical bills (that’s after insurance) to pay because everyone (even the good doctors) thought it was absurd that Cymbalta could be doing this to me. So, after ordering all the freakin’ tests and every last fucking one of those things coming back normal (even my cholesterol was okay this time around!!!!!!!) I’ve got nothing left but anger.

Fuck Eli Lilly. Fuck the FDA. Fuck them in their fucking fuck holes.

Things that Help

This is a personal list of things that continue to help me get through this hell:

  • Dinner rolls. Quite literally dinner rolls. I don’t mean I have them with dinner, I mean they are dinner. For the past three nights me and Sister Schubert have been great buds.
  • Ginger ale and ginger tea.
  • Scrambled eggs with plain bagels or toast.
  • Zofran. On principle, I am against taking a different drug to try and solve a problem caused by a first drug. So believe me when I tell you this  is absolutely necessary for me. I’ve only needed one a day so far, taken about the time I would have normally swallowed Satan’s Curse a Cymbalta.
  • Multivitamin. I don’t know that this actually helps, but I feel better about taking one considering my nausea prevention diet isn’t exactly nutrient-rich.
  • Daniel. I loves him.

Hopefully next week this time I’ll be all smiles saying, “Hey, remember that time I stopped taking Cymbalta? I was such a baby. Hahahaha.”

I’ll keep you posted.

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Cymbalta and Blood Pressure

cymbalta-blood-pressure-fibomyalgiaI haven’t been doing this regularly enough, but my most recent blood pressure results are the lowest in months. I took my last Cymbalta on Thursday, April 16.

My fibromyalgia symptoms aren’t great, but I have moments where I actually daydream of being active. (Then I try a few yoga poses and poop out immediately.) But the point is that my ability to move around is improving.

My resting heart rate is still holding steady in the lower- to mid-90s, but I have hope that will also improve with time and increased mobility.

And I was breathing easier and more evenly after reducing my dose for a week.

I’ve been sleeping a lot and not exercising enough to start melting off the pounds. But I have no doubt that getting back to my pre-Cymbalta weight is going to be a struggle. The chronic pain still lingers; I’ve simply decided it’s better to live with that by itself than to add a host of other weight-related health conditions on top of it.

 

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